The choice of champions
For most of the first playoff series against the OKC Thunder, the Lakers looked old and tired. They were pretty much outplayed and out-hustled by a young team full of future superstars. “There was no intensity” says Derek Fisher, who was a featured victim of many ankle breaking crossovers and facial dunks by Thunder point guard Russell Westbrook. “We needed some kind of boost, something we had never used before” he adds… by game 4 of the series it seemed that they would never find it…
Until after that game 4 defeat. Phil Jackson went into the locker room to rip his team a new one, and while many of the players were showering, he noticed that his players were using a lady body wash in the shower and Jackson correlated his...
You're the best around...
After yet another disappointing season with Cleveland, sources deep within the Cavaliers organization have confirmed that Lebron James will indeed leave the team. Surprisingly the NBA star, heralded by many as the best all around player in the planet, will also be departing the NBA all together to play for the more competitive Japanese Basketball League. The team acquiring James will be the Rera Kamuy Hokkaido. Hokkaido had an impressive performance last season, recording 12 wins and 30 losses. Coach Higashino Tomoya expressed his excitement on having Lebron on his team stating: “Lebron James is the best player in the planet and he will singlehandedly deliver us the JBL champioship”. The coach also extended his gratitude to team Manager Shimizu...
You are manly even like this Jose
Who would have ever thought that after all the dust cleared, that Jose Canseco would be standing tall … baseball and all its sluggers, even the comish Bud “Fifi boy” Selig crumbled at his feet… but that’s exactly what has happened. “He’s doing it for the money” when he published his book talking about steroid use in baseball and how he and Mark “Cry Baby” McGwire used to shoot up in the bathroom. Everyone hated him, everyone shun him and outcast him to the deepest realms of space… slowly but surely, he made his way back. The truth pulled him back in.
How awesome must he feel now? After all, he was alone in his boat, the boat of truth. Even with all these “star” players admitting...
A real photo from after the FL-ALA game
In the wake of the Florida loss to Alabama last week in college football, the question on everyone’s mind is not who will win the Heisman trophy, or how will Brian Kelly fair as the new Notre Dame coach, it is obviously “Who will Jesus stab in the back during bowl week?”. We all know that the Savior and Tim Tebow’s personal friend, Jesus, obviously favored Alabama over Florida in that game, as was revealed when Alabama RB Mark Ingram thanked God at the end of the game, proving that the All Mighty was indeed the 12th man for Alabama in that game. We all know how Jesus used to favor Michael Chang in his tennis matches against Andre Agassi, and Michael used to point to the sky to thank Him. Andre has not forgot this and has...
The origins of Tiger Woods.
I was serving my dogs some succulent canine food while listening to ESPN news on TV and I was abhorred by the “reporters” discussing Tiger Woods. Until a few days ago I thought he only crashed his car into a mailbox or something, and I got worried. Not for Tiger, but for his car. Because I said: “Man, I wonder which one of his cars he trashed? ” Then the staff at Buttheadsports.com started to receive reports from various news organizations (from Facebook to Twitter) about: Mr. Wood’s marriage, GEICO auto insurance, Tiger running away from his wife because she was armed with golf clubs that were used to smash the car, how cool are those cavemen commercials, infidelity, etc. etc.; we were stunned. The media circus around this story is just...
Have a tall one for Jimmy V and Cancer
ESPN’s ‘Have a beer’ week, formerly known as ‘Jimmy V’ week has now officially begun. Jimmy V week was originally established to serve the purpose of raising awareness about cancer and to promote donations to cancer research in order to help rid us from this horrible disease that claims the life of millions each year. The Jimmy V week had been enormously successful in its earlier years due to the illness and eventual death of Jimmy Valvano due to cancer, but in recent years, participation and interest in the cause has diminished. “People don’t really remember Jim anymore, all the younglings that are watching ESPN these days are usually high school drop outs and don’t even know what cancer is” says...
Athletecism at it's very best
While taking a dump this morning, I got to thinking. Peyton Manning pulled out another comeback win yesterday for the Colts over the Houston Texans to continue yet another undefeated start to a season. I was not impressed, and in my opinion, neither was Peyton. Since we have no way of contacting Manning, and “his people” would probably blow us off anyway if we did, I had only one choice. In my concentrated state of mind, I was able to telepathically connect with Peyton, and this is what I heard….
Well WillyDunka, we did have a close game yesterday, but our key players seem to some up big in big situations. We were struggling in the first half, as the Texans were playing some good D, but after the break we really had a turning point on a...
We don’t always get our way. Not at work, not at home, not even with our friends. Life isn’t fair, and even though sometimes we may deserve more, we have to make best with what we have. Wait a minute….I sound like “a man”, as in “take it like a man”. Someone who is responsible and stands up to their problems. Someone who doesn’t whine and cry about every misfortune in life…I admire people like that, and even though they tend to get the short end sometimes, they still have their dignity. On the other hand we have the cry babies : A group of whiny little bastards that think they are entitled to everything. For some reason, they are the chosen ones, and they will cry and squeal and pout until they get what they want…or get beaten...
Watch out...he's prickly
Buttheadsports.com sources have informed us that the 7 ft center of the Cleveland Cavaliers Shaquille “Shaqtus, The Diesel, The Big Witness Protection etc..” O’Neal has now in fact turned into a REAL cactus. Our informants have attributed the transformation to nightly wishing upon a star by O’Neal as well as following the old saying “If you really put your mind to it, you can be anything you want”. “Shaq has been meditating for years to achieve this ultimate goal” our Cleveland insider reports. “This is the real reason his wife divorced him” she added. The Cavaliers have been trying to hide this information from the public, as they have listed Shaq on the injury report for the past six games with an...
IF he even considers for a second thinking about taking the Notre Dame job. I will replace the logo on the site with his face forever! Why would he want to demote himself? Notre Dame has been a big time program since the beginning of time. It has won championships and set all the records…in the past. Right now, it’s like an aging man. It’s starting to stumble, trip up a little and getting weaker. Heck the name “Notre Dame” used to be an easy seller for new recruits. The Golden Domers with all their might and power want ME to play for them. Easy sale. Now, not so much. I think any kid would prefer to go to a “modern” big time program like USC, Florida, Ohio State, Texas etc… Hell, even Michigan has fallen out of the ranks.
Yes...I am this...
